Why Does The Past Always Come Back to Haunt You
by Cosmette Peters
Summary: Hermione thought that the past was gone, and she wouldnever have to worry about it again. But to her dispair the past never went anywhere
1. Just When You Thought That Life Was Goin...

Chapter One

      "Dr. Granger," it was one of the first year interns that woke her from the nightmare she 

was having, "You're needed in ER two, an attempted suicide."

            9:00pm was the time Hermione's watch read as she rose from the chair she had fallen 

asleep in, and walked out of the doctor's lounge. She had just turned twenty-two yesterday, 

and was the youngest person to have received a PhD in all the fields of human medicine. But 

that wasn't her passion, her real talent was magic. So when she walked into the emergency 

room and saw the thin teenage girl lying on a bed shaking with intense energy, and the flock of 

nurses who were running around like chickens with their heads cut off; Hermione knew 

immediately what was wrong.

      A tall, blonde woman rushed up to her as Hermione stood in the doorway, "We thought 

she might have over dosed, but we can't for the life of us find anything that will make her calm 

down, she's been like this for more than half an hour." 

      Hermione flipped, "Half an hour!!!??? Why didn't you get me sooner? Jeez Monica, 

what did you do forget about me?" Hermione was astounded that they'd waited so long before 

finding her.

      Monica didn't reply, she; like all the other M.D.'s at the hospital were secretly jealous of 

'perfect' Dr. Granger, who could solve everything and never had any problems.

      Hermione knew how to help the girl; but it would require her to use her magic, and to 

have a large group of muggles (non-magic folk) watch you perform spells was just plain stupid, " 

Everyone, out!!" she ordered, pushing everyone out of the room. Then once she locked the 

doors, she subconsciously drew her wand out of her pocket; ten inches of Beachwood with a 

unicorn hair source; focusing the tip of it on the girl's shaking chest, she muttered the Latin 

words, "finite incantatum," and the girl's body stopped in mid shake and went limp as she 

went into an unconscious state.

      After placing her wand back into her pocket and opening the doors everyone came 

pouring back in and Monica once again approached Hermione, this time a suspicious look 

played on her face, "How'd you do that?" Hermione simply shrugged her shoulders, "You 

should tell us how you did that in case it happens again and you aren't here."

      "It shouldn't happen again, and besides there was nothing you could've done to help," 

Hermione replied before leaving the room full of horrible memories. 

*^Six Hours Later^*

      She sat on her bed in her blue satin pajamas, unable to sleep, only to see pictures of her 

life five years ago when she closed her eyes; and thoughts of what-ifs when she let her mind 

wander. It had begun so normally, how had it gone so horribly wrong?

She looked down at her wand that lay in her palm, where had it come from? 

***      

      They were dressed in deep red dress robes talking about something that must not have 

been very important for she couldn't remember the topic; when the headmaster, Professor 

Dumbledore walked into the room; even in his old age, Dumbledore had, held an aura of youth 

around him, causing the students to respect him greatly, and consider him a friend, so as he sat 

down everyone went silent. Hermione took that as her cue and stood, walking up to the front of 

the hall where a stand was set up, following her was Draco Malfoy in dark green; as head girl 

and boy they were required to say a speech. Hermione went first:

      "Seven years ago we all began a new era in our lives and today that era will come to a 

glorious close. So as I look around this hall I see my friends, enemies, and classmates and I 

wonder what the next era, which will begin as we leave Hogwarts, will bring each of us. For as 

we go our separate ways what will we take with us; the knowledge of magic; memories both 

good and bad; hopefully a friend or two?

      'I know that most people think of me as a condescending, know-it-all; but I'm satisfied 

with what I am going be able to take with me as I leave; I have great friends, great memories, 

and the comfort that I have the ability to make something of myself, because I learned it. What I 

want you to ask yourselves now is; are YOU satisfied." With that she straightened her robes 

and with a last glance at the crowd stepped off the podium as Draco took her place.

      "Are you running for Minister, Granger? Good speech," he looked down at Hermione, 

and then paused, "But seriously, who are you guys? I know that we have lived in the same 

castle for seven years, but I have never taken the time to get to know any of you. I know 

names, and I know faces. I know who I hate and who I don't. But I've never really known 

anybody. I hope you haven't made the same mistake, because names and faces fade from the 

mind, but great friends last forever in the heart," He paused in deep thought, "I know I'm not the 

most liked person in this room at the moment," some people scoffed, "and I know that I've hurt 

a lot of feelings, not to mention egos. But I don't want to start off my life with regrets, and 

people hating me. So I apologize, for everything that I have done, or said." He walked off the 

podium, leaving everyone in awe; the hateful Draco Malfoy was asking forgiveness? 

      As he walked off the stage he turned to Hermione and held her eyes with his, "Granger, 

I meant what I said up there; I am sorry," he pointed at the podium where McGonagall was 

now talking, "No hard feelings?" She couldn't have turned him away if she wanted to; because 

in his deep grey eyes, he was truly sorry, and he did want to make amends, she didn't know 

how she knew, but she knew that he meant it. All she had to do was nod, and she was scooped 

up into the biggest, most meaningful hug she had ever received; most of the Gryffindors, and all 

of the Slytherins stood up gasping in horror at the sight of their embrace; but that wasn't 

important, for all was forgiven.

      But all was not finished; for just then some two hundred figures in adorned in grey robes 

and white masks burst into the room; and among them was a tall figure in bright red robes, a 

high cackling laugh emitting from his throat. Voldemort.


	2. If I’m living in Paradise How Come No On...

Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

If I'm Living in Paradise How Come No One Ever Told Me?

Beside her, Hermione saw that Draco's body had went stiff, and his eyes glazed over, then he collapsed into a heap on the floor, out cold. But on the other side of the hall the students had divided into two groups, a small group mostly containing girls had taken refuge under the Gryffindor table; but the remaining had gotten their wands out as soon as they heard the manic laughter; and a large group of Slytherins had not so mysteriously disappeared, no doubt to join the Death Eaters.

She spotted Harry and Ron leading the crowd in the fight along with the teachers, and made her way to them; her wand out and ready by her side. When she reached the two boys she turned to them and asked, "How on earth did they get in here? Don't they know they weren't invited?"

All they could do was shrug in reply as an onslaught of masked figures stormed their way. The war had begun and; if Dumbledore had any say in it; would end, here in the Great Hall.

It was what happened in the midst of all the chaos that Hermione remembered most vividly; it was getting late into the evening and there was no sign of either side giving up, when Neville, with his wand at his side came and stood beside her, right at the front of the combat zone. He gave her a look of pure bravery, one which surprised her, because he didn't seem like the outwardly brave type, and raised his wand into a duelling stance. A death eater had seen him do so and taken up the challenge, but the fight didn't last long. Neville hadn't stood a chance, so Hermione was forced to watch as the death curse hit her clumsy friend direct in the chest, the look of terror and disbelief crossing his face as he fell to the floor.

That was too much for Hermione, who had never watched a person die until now; she turned to the death eater that had thrown the hex and hit him with the most powerful, and painful spell she knew; it hit him square between the eyes causing him to yell out in pain. The spell she had preformed was one that took away all your senses; sound, speech, sight, touch, and smell, it also came along with a nasty headache. 

Then there was a sudden ringing and she looked all around the now bloodstained hall trying to find the origin of it, but when it became apparent that it wasn't coming from the hall she woke up.  
  


*~*~*~*

Hermione hadn't even noticed that she had fallen asleep, and as she looked at her alarm clock she found that it was ten o'clock in the morning, and that it was the contraption that was ringing. So she slid out of bed and rubbed her face clear of the sleep and tears that she had been crying in her dreams. She then slowly made her way to the bathroom and into a hot shower; dressing herself, and put her semi-short coffee coloured hair into a messy bun. Opening the fridge in search for something to eat, she found that all it held was an empty juice container and an apple which was turning an unhealthy shade of brown. She cursed herself for never eating at home. It seemed that having a homemade breakfast was out of the question, so she put on her runners and made her way to the nearest Starbucks. The Starbucks was like any of the other thousand that New York City held, crowded and noisy. She went up to order and then walked out of the building planning on taking a walk to clear her head. 

But her plan was derailed when a raggedy, old bum ran up to her and began shouting, "It's real, it's all real, I've seen it with my own eyes!!"

Hermione's first reaction was to push him away and keep on walking, but her curiosity got the best of her and she asked to man what he had seen, his reply was," Magic of course! It's all real, they have wands and they can do all sorts of things to a man if he doesn't stand his guard!!" He waved his hands in the air to demonstrate his point before running off in the opposite direction.

Now as she turned to walked away from the man, who she previously thought was crazy, she wondered if her old world was so bad off that the muggles were beginning to catch on; because obviously this man had seen something that had knocked the sense out of him.  
  
*`*`*`*`*Three hours later*`*`*`*`*

At the hospital Hermione felt more at home, in her white overcoat; where she had something occupying her mind to keep it from straying into the past. But there was one thing her mind wouldn't put at rest; the girl who had come in last night, who was she, and who had attacked her.

So she went to the front desk and approached Donna, the receptionist, "Donna, do you know where the girl from E.R. last night is being kept?"

Donna, a high school kid looked at Hermione like she was crazy, for Donna was new, and they had never met before, "and you are?"

"Dr. Granger, I was the one of the doctors on her case, Hermione said patiently.

"Ah, well, there were three female E.R. patients that came in last night; can you be a little more specific? A name maybe?" 

"Um…She didn't have any identification, so she's probably listed as a Jane Doe," Hermione was taking a shot in the dark, she wasn't sure who the girl was, she hadn't stuck around long enough to find out, but if she was a witch she wouldn't have any identification.

"Oh yeah; the freak; she's in intensive care, room 517, Monica says she's a real nut case," Donna then snapped her gum and nodded as Hermione walked off.

It took Hermione no time to find the room, she glanced at her information sheet; it read: 

Unidentified young female,   
check in time: 2105h 03/12/2003   
Diagnosis: Unknown

So she knocked, and a voice on the other side of the door told her to come in.

Inside, the miniscule hospital room was just like the rest of the building; clean, sterilized, and white, the only difference was the young woman sitting under the starched sheets.

At first all Hermione saw was a girl with sickly pale skin, a raggedy head of red hair, and a dark purple bruise on her cheek, but after a second glance, and then a third, it hit her.

"Ginny?!?" Hermione exclaimed stepping further into the room, "What on Earth are you doing here?"

Ginny smiled a sad, but triumphant smile, "I found you. Everyone thought you had been killed, but I found you, I did it."

"Why?" Hermione was confused about why friends would think she was dead, "What happened?"

"Oh Herm, it's terrible, He's gone completely insane, and no one knows what He's going to do next. Even his most trusted Death Eaters have abandoned him in fear of their lives," Ginny shook her head in disbelief; "It shouldn't be this way."

"But wouldn't that be a good thing, all his Death Eaters leaving? Now he has no assistance, and more people against him, he shouldn't be as powerful," She looked at Ginny, knowing who she was talking about, "Right?"

"That's what everyone thought, but it was like the exact opposite that happened," She sighed, "He has power beyond magic, no one understands it, and no one can fight it, people have dropped dead in the street when he felt like someone should die, he doesn't even have to be there."

"Do you know when you get out of here?" Hermione asked her friend, "This isn't a good place to be talking about this, it's too risky."

"Yeah, this afternoon, unless I have another attack."

So that was how it went, Hermione went back to work, running through everything Ginny had told her, again and again, trying to make sense of it, to find out what power he had resorted to. But more than once her mind would drift off to Harry, Ron, or her other old friends from Hogwarts, the school she had loved so much, but now feared it wouldn't even be standing. So at the end of the day, she was eager to find Ginny and get back to her apartment, she needed to know all that had happened since she left.

She found Ginny gathering the few things she had come in with. She was looking better than she had that morning, but still rather rough, her clothes were muggle, a pair of baggy jeans and a large white t-shirt, you could see her wand sticking out of her pocket; her robes that she had come in with were in a small bag. When she saw Hermione in the doorway, she smiled, but it wasn't like Hermione remembered. Ginny's smile would always make her face light up, it was a contagious type of smile, but now her smile was worn out, and didn't reach her eyes.

"Come on, lets go," Hermione motioned to the door.

In the car on the way to her apartment Hermione remembered that she had no groceries, and if Ginny was going to be staying with her she'd need something to eat, "I have to get groceries, is that okay?"

Ginny just nodded. So Hermione pulled into a food store and they got out. In the store Hermione took a cart and randomly began putting things that she thought Ginny would like, Ginny just followed her blankly. When they pulled up to a till, the cashier, one of Hermione's neighbours, noticed that Ginny was a little out of it. 

"Is she going to be okay?" He asked Herm.

Hermione was about to reply when Ginny interrupted, "I'll be fine, thank you, can we go now?" So they left.  
  


*******

At Hermione's place, while they were putting away what they had bought, Ginny began to cry, it had started as a few tears then became an all out bawl, Hermione ran over to her and lead her to the couch, "What's wrong Gin?"

"Nothing," Then she gave another loud sob, "Who am I kidding, everything is wrong!!!"

"Shhh....It's all right," She handed Ginny a tissue, "Here. Now tell me what is really wrong?"

And there they sat, all night long, talking and crying.

"Well, it's just that life has been so hard, and then I come here, and you are living your life, no one's bothering you. You don't have to look around every corner to make sure that there's not someone who's going to come out and kill you," Ginny explained.

"But Ginny, I want to come back, I want to help, I feel so guilty for leaving, then when I try to come back, I'm scared that there won't be anything left, I feel so helpless here" She admitted.

"But it's horrible, if you see what I've seen, you would cherish your life right now, instead of regretting it. So many people have died. Sometimes you just want to wish you were dead too, but you're scared that someone will come and grant that wish."

Hermione gave her a look of surprise, "Surely it can't be as bad as you say; you must be overreacting."

"I wish I was, but unfortunately, I'm not. I'm surprised I even made it here alive. To me it was like a miracle."

"But you almost didn't, you were under a curse when they found you. What _was that, and more so, who did it to you?"_

Ginny didn't answer right away, first she sighed, then she wiped the tears from her eyes, then she sighed again, "Well you see, it's kind of hard to explain. I was caught awhile back, trying to get out of London, where I live now. It was when the Death Eaters were still working for the Dark Lord; they wouldn't let anyone apparate, in fear of we'd leave and bring back an army or something. And while I was in captivity they put a curse on me, that when ever I tried to apparate again I would lose all control of myself. They preformed it on anyone they caught. Well, when the Death Eaters joined our forces, I guess they forgot to take the curses off, so when I apparated here it activated the curse. But I suppose it was a good thing, because I found, you didn't I?"

"I guess so, but still you shouldn't have even tried, you said yourself that everyone thought I was dead." Then she asked out of curiosity. "If everyone thought I was dead, why didn't you?" 

"I don't know," Hermione nodded for her to continue, "It was a trap, you know. When he killed your parents, it was a trap to get you. You were so close to finding out how to kill him, that he needed you out of the picture...permanently. Does this mean he didn't attack you?"

"When I got the message that my parents had been murdered I came here, because they were visiting family here, and when there was nothing, the bodies were laying all over the place, the house was completely lifeless and there was an air of magic in the air, so I knew that he had destroyed them, but he wasn't waiting for me, no one was. So I stayed there for a few days thinking maybe he would come back. And when he didn't, I found I didn't have the courage to come back, so I stayed, started a new life, and tried to forget about magic." That was the story of her life, she was afraid. And now she was needed, but would she be able to help?


	3. What Did I do to Deserve This Pain?

It was late into the night, and Hermione couldn't sleep

**Chapter Three**

**What Did I do to Deserve This Pain?**

It was late into the night, and Hermione couldn't sleep. But it wasn't her memories that were haunting her, it was her guilt, and with Ginny just across the hall, it really hit her hard how much she had missed.  
  
*******Flashback*******

It was dark in Dumbledore's office; it had been like that since Voldemort's invasion, protection for the headmaster, for he was the key, if the Dark Lord got to him it would be over for the entire wizarding world and the muggle population wouldn't stand a chance. But that wasn't why Hermione had been called into him office, she knew all of this, it had to be worse, something personal, if it wasn't he would have announced it to everyone. 

So here she sat, in the dark, waiting for something that could only be bad news. He hadn't come yet, he called her, yet he wasn't here. She let her mind drift as the minutes wore on, she needed to finish her plotting, and research. That's what she did, she was a military strategist for the undercover attack army, and was trying to find out how to destroy Voldemort once he was apprehended, she was on the verge of finding the key to his power. She hadn't seen her friends in months, everyone was busy, they all had different strengths so were put in different groups; Ron was the leader of the army that fought the dark side face on, he had his work cut out for him, but he was the best for the job, planning attacks was his forte, they always had been; Harry on the other hand was, as usual right in the middle of it all, trying to get inside information, befriending death eaters, or just threatening them, it baffled Hermione to no end trying to figure out what it was about Harry that made everyone think he's so powerful, when she looked at him all she saw was Harry, her friend, tall, lanky, and kind of clumsy; maybe there was something there that she couldn't see. Her new found ally; Draco Malfoy, had gone missing when the Great Hall was overrun, and hadn't been seen since; she didn't have long to get to know him, but she got a strong feeling of trust from him when he had hugged her. But then it could have all been a plot to get to Dumbledore; for Draco wasn't usually so open. She didn't like thinking about the whole thing, it gave her a headache. 

Just as her mind was about to disobey her and dive deeper into her thoughts about Draco a door Hermione hadn't noticed earlier opened and in came not Dumbledore as she expected, but Snape. Sure, he wasn't all evil anymore, but that didn't give Hermione any reason to trust him, in fact if something happened she would most likely point the finger of blame at him.

He was obviously expecting her to be in here because he didn't seem the least bit startled when he saw her. But then, he seemed to know everything these days; he was always one step ahead of everyone. It was he who suggested a volume called _'Life and How to Keep it', an extremely large and dusty book of restoration and preservation of the spirit to Hermione; how he knew that she was looking into Voldemort's powers in the first place was also unknown to her. And Hermione was usually aware of everything. _

He took a seat across from her and ran his long, thin fingers through his hair and sighed, this was something that didn't happen often, for Snape was near to never nervous or at unrest, but at the moment he seemed to be unable to word his thoughts correctly, "Miss Granger, I have some," he paused to think for a moment, "rather unfortunate news."

Hermione looked at him intensely trying to read the expression on his sallow face, but she had no luck, his eyes were as they always were, black, emotionless. So she nodded for him to continue.

"Your parents, when was the last time you heard from them?" What an odd question to ask while attempting to bear bad news, Hermione thought as she eyed the potions master warily.

"Months ago, why?" she had been unable to speak too many of her close friends and relatives; she hadn't had the time, nor the resources.

"They were vacationing in America, during Christmas holidays, visiting other relations when the Dark Lord attacked them, they were unprotected being outside of Europe, and he slaughtered them." Emotionless, that was how he said it, he didn't care; they were muggles not important, expendable in his colorless eyes. He could have been a news reporter.

"That's it? You don't care at all do you?" She snapped at him, jumping to her feet, "They were muggles so you don't care!"

"Miss Granger, this isn't going to get you anywhere, I can assure you. I was not the one who committed the crime; you know who was; so I suggest you go look for him."

All Hermione could do now was shake her head furiously at her old Professor, "Why? What did they do? They did deserve to get involved in my problems, he should have fought me instead I could have defended myself, they couldn't." 

Snape waited until she had calmed down slightly then took her by the shoulders and sat her down. Then for the first time he looked at her as an equal, not a student, and said, "If you want to get to the bottom of this, and I suspect that you do; then I propose that you go to the scene of the crime, your aunt's house in New York. That is where you will find the answer to your questions."

So she went, she gave her notice to Dumbledore, packed a bag of muggle clothes, and grabbed the first flight to America.

***

In America, Hermione quickly grabbed a cab, and took the 45 minute taxi ride to the more comfortable part of New York, her family had always been wealthy; but no one in the wizarding world would have thought so, because she was a muggle. But that was beside the point.

When she arrived at the large two story house, it look virtually untouched, the grass might have been a little longer than expected, but the building and yard were intact, there was no sign of the most evil person on earth being here and committing a horrible crime. So Hermione walked as calmly as she could to the front door. She knew that hoping this was all a bad dream was useless, but she couldn't help it. The door was unlocked, this was a bad sign. Inside, the front room had a strange feeling to it, an empty feeling, so she did not dwell long in it. Going up the stairs to the second floor, the emptiness grew stronger, and was mixed with something that Hermione couldn't name, fear maybe. Through the first door that she came upon was a neatly decorated bathroom, but it was unoccupied so she continued. The next door resisted when Hermione tried to open it, something was blocking its path, she pushed harder and the object moved and the door swung neatly open. Looking around the room, she had to try her hardest not to faint; piled by the door was the bodies of her aunt, uncle and their three year old son, all dead. To the unknowing eye they might have passed as life size dolls, but Hermione knew that they had been victims of _Avada Kadavra, and let out a sob of sorrow. Closing the door behind her, Hermione moved on determined to find her parents; but when she did, she wished she hadn't. _

In the last room at the end of the hall, were her parents, they looked sleeping. They were in bed, covers around them, they looked peaceful, but the image was ruined by the large skull with a snake wrapped around it burnt onto the quilt that covered them. This was too much for her, Hermione's knees gave out and she slid to the floor and wept; for how long she was unsure, but when she finally got the strength to stand again it was dark and she needed to find a hotel. She refused to stay in the place where these tragedies happened. 

Later that evening when Hermione had had a chance to think about her situation rationally, she came to the obvious conclusion that Voldemort must be destroyed; the hard part was figuring out how. Being so powerful and well protected made it hard for anyone to get near him. She sat on the double bed in the small hotel room thinking of ways to make the Dark Lord crumble at her feet, each more painful and impossible than the last. She had been in her trance for almost an hour when a loud, urgent pounding brought her back to life, someone was at the door. 

She rose and walked slowly to the door, the pounding was getting louder and more urgent by the second, Hermione's temper couldn't handle this; so when she swung the door open violently, without even bothering to check who her caller was she yelled, "STOP THE BLOODY POUNDING ALREADY!!! I'm not deaf you know." 

The slow drawling voice who answered was a familiar one, "I know that, you're too obnoxiously loud to be deaf, and I wasn't pounding, I was knocking." 

Before Hermione's mind registered that the person standing at the door was no longer and enemy she slapped him across the face. When she looked up and realized what she had done she let out a cry and pulled the tall man inside, "Draco you idiot!"

Draco held his cheek, wincing slightly, Hermione's nails had dug into his skin and he was bleeding, "I'm an idiot? You're the one who slapped me!"

Hermione didn't answer; she was too busy healing his wound, her face contorted with concentration as blue sparks shot out of her wand, then when she was finished she replied, "Why are you here?"

Draco looked at her intently, and then responded, "You've changed."

What sort of answer was that? She wanted to know what had happened to him and why he was pounding down her hotel door in the middle of the night, "So? That's not important, I want to know where you have been, what you've been doing, why you're in America." 

"You want to know what I've been up to. Really?" He asked her slowly making sure that she was serious, "It's not pretty." Hermione gave him the go ahead and he began his story. 

He had been sent to North America by Dumbledore, to make sure that Voldemort didn't spread to the western part of the world; meanwhile on a mission for Voldemort to gather as many followers as possible. It had been a few months and he had covered most of North America, but he always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, he apologized that he wasn't there when her parents were killed, but he had been in the Yukon, and was only notified by Snape after it had happened; then again by Dumbledore that Hermione had travelled here, which was how he had found her so easily, having both sides to gather information from, "and the reason that I came so quickly is that I am on orders to kill you now that you're out of Dumbledore's protection." He said as he ended his story. 

Hermione's eyes went wide as he said this and she backed away from him, he laughed at her fear, "I'm not actually going to kill you, but I do have a plan, if you are willing to hear me out," he said calmly, laying his wand onto the bed as a sign of peace; when she took it, he continued, "I can leave the dark mark here so that the next person that goes looking for you will think you're dead, I have a spell that will take any traces of magic from your body, to make you undetectable, you would just be another muggle to everyone; even Dumbledore. But I suppose it's better than being dead. But if you don't want to live as a muggle your other option is for me to kill you, which I will do; or else the Dark Lord will kill both of us." 

When she now thought about it, her decision seemed to be made so quickly, but in reality it took her more than half an hour to give her answer to Draco, "Yes; it is better than death, and then I can study the arts with out having to watch my back all the time,-" 

"No, like I said, no traces of magic, if you brought any item with you that were made only for wizard's and witches, someone would find out, they are made by magic therefore hold magic in them," Draco said as he interrupted her. 

"Oh, totally muggle, nothing at all." She said mostly to herself. 

"Do you have anywhere to go after I perform the spell? Somewhere safe?" The concern in his voice startled Hermione; even while describing his plan he had remained emotionless. 

She shook her head; she had left all her things in Hogwarts, where she lived, so she had no money, barely any clothes, and no place to go. 

Draco again took charge, "Alright," he drew something from an inside pocket of his cloak, "Here, have this it should get you on your feet and settled," he handed her a large amount of American bills, "More than $10,000, I always carry cash on me." 

He had prepared for this, she could tell; even someone like Draco wouldn't carry that much money around on them, and he had to of changed it from Galleons because Hermione was almost positive he didn't have a muggle bank account, "Thanks, I'll pay you back, I promise I will." He just nodded. 

When she had changed, and gathered her things, she stood by his side and watched as he flicked his wand and muttered an incantation under his breath. Almost immediately the dark green mark appeared on her sheets, just as it had with her parents; a smell of burnt plastic settled throughout the room. 

Then he turned to her, "Give me your wand," she did, then he took his and hers in his left hand, swishing them both above her head for a minute with his eyes closed; when he stopped and his eyes opened, she noticed that they had turned almost purple, Then he took one wand in each hand and placed each hand on one of her shoulders then he said clearly, "_ignarus, irritum, absens, desum." _

A warm feeling washed over her, and when it had left it had taken with it all that she felt for the magical world. She still knew it was there and where to find it, she still knew who her friends were, and who the bad guy was, but now it just didn't seem as important, she didn't feel the urgency that she once felt when thinking about her friends, or about her cause. Hermione looked up at Draco, his eyes were a greyish-purple, and he looked close to collapsing. So she took his hand and led him out of the room, down the hall and out of the hotel; when they were outside they stopped, and he leaned against the wall while she hailed a cab. 

In the taxi, he slept, and she got her first good look at him. The months away had changed him, his face wasn't as pale, his appearance had softened, he looked like he had accepted life the way it was, both muggle and wizard. His hair was longer, and darker; it now fell messily to his shoulders instead of being slicked back neatly, a light blonde colour instead of silver; and his movements were more relaxed. He looked so peaceful. 

An hour later they arrived at their destination, another hotel on the opposite side of the city, and she woke him. After getting a room, she took Draco's hand and guided him to the elevator then to the room. It was bigger than her previous one, because she had ordered two beds, assuming that Draco would be far to tired to apparate; she was correct. So she changed again, while he just slept in his clothes, cloak and all, and she went to sleep. 

***End of Flashback***

This was her story, it had worked for five years, and she had lived almost peacefully as a muggle, not thinking of magic, unless she let her mind drift. But now that she was faced with reality, everything seemed more important to her, her senses were becoming alive again. When she had used her wand on Ginny, before she found out who it was, that was when she had come out of her coma, she had ended the spell, and she was a witch again.


	4. Is It Too Late To Turn Back Now That I’m...

"Dr

Chapter Four

Is it too late to turn back now that I'm here

When Hermione awoke the next morning she was surprised to see that Ginny was already up, and that she had made breakfast, "What's all of this for?" 

"A thank you for saving me," Ginny answered, "And I'm celebrating, I finally found you." 

Hermione nodded as she spooned sugar into her coffee, "But why were you looking for me in the first place? You said everyone thought I was dead?" 

"Well yes, but you see, I didn't believe that, because there was no body in your hotel room. It's not like the Dark Lord to take the body of his victims; he likes to leave them at the murder scene as a sign of his power. The mark was there, but you weren't," Ginny explained biting into a piece of toast. 

"Oh, well that was the point of the plan I guess to make everyone, including the Dark Lord, think I was dead," Hermione continued to tell Ginny about Draco's plan. 

"So he was a Death Eater," she exclaimed after Hermione had finished her tale, "I knew it!" 

"But he was working for Dumbledore, that was partly how he knew how to find me," Hermione pointed out.

"Still," Ginny protested. 

"Still nothing, if he was evil he would have killed me when he had the chance," Hermione said closing the subject. 

"Fine," Ginny pouted, which made Hermione giggle, and Ginny followed suit, soon they were rolling on the floor in laughter. 

After calming down and finishing their, meals the two sat at the table in a comfortable silence drinking tea. It was then that Hermione decided was the best time to make her announcement, "I'm going back." 

Ginny was shocked; "to Hogwarts?" the thought gave her the chills, if only Hermione knew it was like. 

Hermione nodded, "I have to," she looked up at Ginny, "I need to," then she looked down at her tea. 

Ginny was silent for a minute, thinking, "I understand, but I don't think you do; its horrible, yes I have said it before but I don't think you got it. Everything has changed, it's like a dark cloud is hovering over the wizarding world, and it's not planning on moving any time soon. He-who-must-not-be-named has control over just about everything, he knows all, and sees all. It's really scary." 

Hermione was still looking at her tea as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, she knew what Ginny was saying was true, but she couldn't believe it, she wouldn't, "I know, but I left and things got worse, now I feel that I owe something to everyone who is suffering, if I would have stayed He might have been gone already, but no, now he's in absolute power." 

"Then I'm going with you," Ginny announced. 

"No, you finally got out, you found me, now you can rest, stay here, where it's safe," Ginny shook her head, "You have done your share, now you can stay." 

"But I can't just sit here, I would go crazy. And you don't know anything about the wizarding world now, it's different, places change, you need my help," Hermione knew she was right, and she hated Ginny for that, but agreed. 

***

The rain outside couldn't compare to the tornado that was going on inside Hermione's mind as she and Ginny stepped off the boarding platform and into the airport. She knew in her heart she was doing the right thing, but it seemed that every time she closed her eyes the vision of her parent's lifeless bodies appeared and she thought that it could be her next.

A hand came to rest on Hermione's shoulder pulling her out of her thoughts and making her turn and look at Ginny who had a look of concern on her face, "It's not too late to go back you know." her voice filled with worry, a voice that Hermione knew too well.

"Yes Gin; it is. I should have never left in the first place," Hermione smiled sadly and sighed.

Ginny nodded, not so much in agreement but just to say that she was behind Hermione no matter what, "Then we should get to Hogwarts before we get noticed. It has been the only safe place for decades; He has refused to enter since we forced him out five years ago; but no one knows why." She took out her wand and her grip on Hermione's shoulder tightened. The next thing Hermione knew, the airport had vanished and in its place was an iron gate bearing the symbol of Hogwarts.

Hermione didn't spend much time in examining the gate; instead her head automatically turned to the large castle perched upon the hill above. It was no longer what she remembered from her childhood. The candlelight that lit up the windows was gone, to be replaced by darkness; the chimneys bore no billowing smoke; there was nothing to show that the castle was even inhabited. Hermione pried her eyes away from the gloomy castle and turned them towards the grounds, which were devoid of any movement or sign of life. The grass was scattered with bits of debris and stained black with dried blood that not even the rain could wash away. A heavy scent of death loomed over the entire picture. It was as if someone had taken her dreams and turned them into nightmares.

As Hermione was taking in the barren waist land that Hogwarts had become; Ginny was busy opening the intensely complicated spell lock. She smiled proudly as the lock disappeared and the gates opened, "Hermione come on, hurry." She said pulling Hermione inside and relocked the gate.

The walk up the rugged and overgrown path to the castle was filled with a mounting tension as Hermione tried to brace herself for the worst. She had no idea as to what the stone walls of the castle held for her, all she knew was that there was no turning back.

In the entrance hall Hermione got her first dose of reality. The room was dark, lit only by a few black candles emitting a blue glow. On the wall were several different boards, and on them were names and dates. Hermione made the mistake of looking at the one nearest to her. Its heading was _Tragic Losses; scanning the list Hermione found more than a few names that hit home. Charlie Weasely, May, 2000; Lavender Brown, July, 1998; and at the very bottom of the list was Neville Longbottom, June, 199, for he of course was the first to fall._

Ginny had to pull Hermione away from the board to stop her from reading all the names. But as they walked through the hall there were other boards, with other headings; the longest one was _Missing in Action, which must have held over a thousand names._

They didn't dwell for long in the entrance hall before heading down a flight of stairs that Hermione remembered lead to the dungeons. Yet still as they continued father into the castle they didn't encounter a single soul, until that is when Ginny stopped abruptly in the middle of a corridor that looked as if it went of forever, and turned to one of the walls.

"_Digladior," she said to the wall, which in turn opened into a large and dark room._

Inside, the grand fireplace was barren, making the room as cold as ice. The room was lit with green lantern dangling from the low stone ceiling. Scattered around the room were old, worn pieces of furniture; and in one of the over stuffed chairs sat a single person; one that Hermione would have happily killed five years ago for the horrible things he did to the people she considered family; Lucius Malfoy.

The tall, thin man was sitting, legs crossed in the arm chair, a large and rather dusty looking volume resting, open, on his knees, oval reading glasses resting on his sharp nose. He looked very different than Hermione remembered him, he no longer held the aura of power he once did, yet the way he sat, in perfect posture, he did command a sort of relaxed respect. He was so engulfed in the book that he didn't notice when the two girls entered the room. Or if he did he simply ignored them.

That was until Ginny strode casually up to him, as if they had known each other for a lifetime and spoke to him, "Lucius," he looked up at Ginny a look of surprise flashing across his face, "I'm back as you can see."

He nodded, looking her up and down, as if examining her for damages, "I see that; and you seemed to have made it back in one whole piece. But I see that you failed on your mission."

Ginny smiled smugly, glancing quickly out of the corner of her eye at Hermione, who was still standing in the doorway, "I have not," and she motioned for Hermione to join her, "Lucius I believe you and Hermione have met before."

Lucius looked past Ginny to Hermione, his dark eyes searching her for something, but finding nothing, "Hello," was all he said.

Hermione nodded in reply, not trusting her voice, as she had become suddenly nervous. Luckily Ginny spoke for her, "She wants to join the Phoenix," the term made Hermione look up from her spot on the floor in confusion, "I believe, as I told you earlier, she would be a great asset to us. That is why I set out to find her."

He nodded, a thin smile forming on his face, "Yes, I remember, as I almost did not let you go, for the quest seemed pointless," then he turned to Hermione, "You are legally dead Ms. Granger. Did you know that?"

Hermione shook her head; some of the nervousness faded away as she became more comfortable with the fact the Lucius Malfoy seemed to be Ginny's superior.

Without saying another word Lucius stood, closing the book and placing it on the chair. It was then Hermione got her first good look at him. He was tall, and thin, that much was obvious. But his hair was long, past his shoulders, tied in a tight ponytail at his neck, and through the light blonde the streaks of silver were barely noticeable. In his left ear was a minute crystal ankh, and he was dressed in, not wizard robes, but a pair of muggle khakis, and a black tee-shirt. He removed his glasses, setting them on top of the book, and began to walk out of the, motioning for the girls to follow.

They walked back up the stairs that Ginny and Hermione had previously travelled down; back to the main level. Then Lucius turned to Ginny and nodded, not saying anything, and she walked off leaving Hermione alone with Lucius, making her even more nervous. They continued to walk up more flights of stairs, until they reached the gargoyle that, if Hermione remembered correctly led to Dumbledore's office. Lucius whispered the password and the stone figure jumped aside to reveal the moving spiral staircase. 

When the reached the top the door that awaited them was locked, so Lucius knocked, and stood waiting impatiently. The door opened a few minutes later to reveal, not Dumbledore as Hermione was expecting, but a vaguely familiar man with short black hair and bright blue eyes. He looked as if he was in a great hurry, as he didn't notice Lucius standing there, so he ran right into him, knocking him over.

"Watch where you're going Black," Lucius hissed at the man who was now sprawled out on the floor, "There are other people in this castle who don't enjoy lying on the floor."

The two men glared at each other for a long while until Hermione cleared her throat, getting their attention, "Umm, Mr. Malfoy, weren't we going somewhere?"

"Hermione?" the man looked up at her in astonishment, "Hermione Granger?"

Hermione looked at the man, trying desperately to put a name on the face that looked so familiar, "Yes, that's my name."

The man, now standing on his feet smiled at her, "You don't remember me? Sirius Black?"

It hit her. He looked so different from when they had last spoken where he looked awful. The person standing in front of her bore nearly no resemblance to the Sirius Black she knew before; he looked more alive, "Sirius? I didn't recognize you, I'm so sorry."

Sirius laughed, his eyes lighting up, "That's alright, not many people do." He bid Hermione and Lucius farewell stating that he had important work to do, and let them get on with their journey.

Inside Dumbledore's office Hermione's nervousness grew to a point that bordered on panic, and she began to ring her hands together, wishing that she had someone to talk to. Lucius had vanished somewhere once the door had opened, and Hermione doubted she'd see him again today. So now she sat, waiting in the round, empty room.

She didn't have to wait long though, for the door at the back of the room opened slowly and Dumbledore entered the room.

He looked different, as everyone did; he had changed, grown older. He still held the aura of mystery, yet it seemed to have dimmed slightly, to anyone who had known him long enough it was plain to see that he was getting weaker. He sat down at his desk, folding his hands together and looked at Hermione through his half moon spectacles, "Hermione. I didn't think I'd see you again. It's good to know that you're well." He smiled warmly, "I presume that you are here to offer your services in our time of need."

That was one way of putting it, "Yes, I feel as if I should be doing something instead of hiding out waiting for the world to end." She explained, trying to phrase her thoughts correctly.

Dumbledore didn't reply, instead he reached behind him and brought foreword the sorting hat; ratty and worn as it had always been.He motioned for her to put it on. So, with a look of confusion written on her face Hermione placed the hat on her head.

*And this is where I'm going to leave you for the moment, you've been a wonderful audience so far, and I hope that you will return for more of Hermione's personal dilemmas. Meanwhile I must say that I read a great story a little while back and I want you all to read it, and review 'cuz I'm sure the author would be really happy if you did. You can access it by clicking on this little link = [http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=410506][1] * the story is called When Love Goes Missing it's a Sirius fiction so…yeah it's a Sirius fiction. And you should read it.

So TTFN and see you in the movies!!!

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=410506



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